Dear Appetizer Spread:  Is there anything better than you?  I think not.  (Especially when you involve an epi from Bouchon Bakery.)

Dear Life:  I am so tired.  Going back to work is hard.  (Whine whine whine.)

Dear Russian River:  I’m so excited to come see you!  We’re going to have such a relaxing time together.

Dear Penny:  Are you ready to go rafting on the river?  Are you excited to get your little paws all wet?

Dear Alameda Flea Market:  You are so fun to wander around, but I really could have done without that man and woman screaming at each other (apparently over a parking spot situation), which resulted in the guy throwing the woman down in the parking lot.

Dear Guy Attacking Woman (over a parking spot):  Even if she’s the biggest idiot in the entire world, you’re still the guy who got physical with a woman.  In public.  Over a parking spot.  (And since you’re obviously lacking quite a few IQ points, let me spell this out for you: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE and I hope you never procreate.  We don’t need more of those genes running around.)

Dear People Behind Me Watching the Fight Unfold:  Um, actually, this isn’t “‘just what happens when you’re this close to Oakland.”  (But feel free to spread that rumor all around the bay, our rents are high enough in Oak-town.)

Dear Root Beer Floats:  What about how delicious you are?  I had almost forgotten.

Dear Beer Camp Across America:  What a find that case was at Costco!  I’m coming for your Firestone Hoppy Pils and Ballast Point IPL first.

Dear Closet:  I really need to clean you out.  Somehow you’re stuffed to the gills with clothes, and yet I have nothing to wear.  Time for a purge.

Love, Chelsea