Dear Candles: You make this whole “less than 11 hours of daylight” thing a little more cozy and a little less depressing.

Dear IKEA: Thanks for having such cheap, unscented candles. (I guess it makes sense, since Sweden is even farther north than the Netherlands.)

Dear Friends: In case you’re curious, everyone in Europe that I’ve met has been like, “So Trump… Is that for real?” And all I can do is express how very, very confused I am by it as well.

Dear America: How did we get here? No seriously, HOW.

Dear Maternity Coat: I haven’t had to bust you out just yet, but I feel like you and I are going to be BFFs in just a few weeks.

Dear Baby: What are we going to name you?

Dear Christmas Markets: Which of you are we going to visit? Austria? Germany? Belgium? So many options!

Dear Maternity Jeans: You are so comfortable but so annoying because you’re always falling down! Booooo.

Dear Prim: I will eat you up I love you so.

Dear Weekend: Let’s do this.

Love, Chelsea

Dear Prim: I’m really tired. Luckily you’re really cute.

Dear January: You’re almost over! Thank God.

Dear Oysters and Champagne: I’m coming for both of you tonight! Yum.

Dear KC: Daaaaate niiiiiiight yaaaayyyyy!

Dear Government-Held Student Loans; What about how we finally paid you off? And every time I wonder why I have no money — now I know the answer.

Dear Lady tweezing her mustache on BART: Yeah, ok… You do you.

Dear Penny: You need a bath. So stinky.

Dear Superbowl: I don’t care.

Dear Week: Are you over yet? This feels like forever.

Dear Prim’s Tooth: Speed it up a little. Thanks.

Love, Chelsea

Dear Prim: I don’t care how embarrassed you are of me, I’m never going to stop smothering you with kisses.

Dear El Niño: You’re the best. You almost make January bearable.

Dear Hair: I don’t even know what to do with you. Ugh. (I mean, obviously. ↑ )

Dear Weekend: Let’s do this already.

Dear Baby Gap: I want these. Also this. OMG and these?! (No one tell KC.)

Dear KC: Hiii Iloveyou.

Dear Movie Theater: It would be cool to come and see you at some point. Especially since I don’t have to pee every 5 minutes during a movie like when I was pregnant.

Dear Self: What about how you were actually alone last night for a couple hours? AMAZING.

Dear Pizza: Why isn’t eating you for every meal considered like, healthy and a diet everybody should be on?

Dear Work: You’ve been kind of stressful lately. It’s nice to have a day off today.

Love, Chelsea

Dear Snapchat: I still don’t really understand you (because I’m old) and I don’t know how to do like 90% of the things other people can do with their snaps, but I do have fun putting those little videos of Prim and Penny together. (If you’d like to follow along, you can add me: chelseac7off)

Dear Rain: Yessssssss!

Dear January: Ugh, you’re the worst.

Dear March: Hurry hurry please.

Dear Healthy Eating: So yeah, you’re fine and things are going well, but also I would like all the pizza and all the chocolate.

Dear Making a Murderer: I knew Len was shit from the start. All I kept saying during episode 4 was, “That poor kid, he doesn’t even understand this.”

Dear Fellow Lawyers: If you’re a shitty attorney, do us all a favor and go into a field that doesn’t matter so much. NOT criminal law.

Dear Oysters: Let’s meet up soon! Get in my belly. (I’m coming for you, Kumamotos!)

Dear Prim: Since we figured out how to drop that first feeding, you’re only up once most nights! This is life-changing for your mama.

Dear KC: Busy season sucks. I miss you. Date night soon?

Love, Chelsea

Dear Prim: I see you, little sneak.

Dear December: Slow down! I feel like you just got here. (But, I have to admit, I’m really excited to be on break for a couple weeks starting today!)

Dear Rain: More please. Thanks.

Dear 2016: I feel like I just got out of the habit of writing 2014 on everything and now I have to learn how to write 2016?

Dear Christmas Gifts: You are all wrapped! Only one big gift left to get (and KC’s stocking to finish… Just like every year.)

Dear Winter Colds: Ok, I get it — you’re everywhere. But now that we’ve all gotten one (or two!) now, maybe you could leave us alone?

Dear Trader Joe’s Popcorn Tin: I had such high hopes, but I’m really underwhelmed.

Dear Williams Sonoma Christmas Catalog: I get that you’re super ridiculous, but it totally doesn’t stop me from wanting all the things. (I mean, not those stupid $7 marshmallows though. Let’s be reasonable.)

Dear BabyGap: Why must everything be so cute? Don’t tell KC…

Dear Wardrobe: I feel like everything I own looks kind of like garbage and anything remotely cute I can’t nurse in… First-time mom problems.

Love, Chelsea