Category Archives: Wedding

How to Change Your Name (in California) After Marriage

February 10, 2012

Hey party people! How’s your Friday going? Did you have to spend 35 minutes waiting at the bank to change your name? No? Well I did, so lucky you!

So we discussed the whole “name change” thing yesterday (I got some interesting responses — thanks for sharing!) Today, I’ll walk you through how to change your name (if you’ve decided to change your name — y’know, it’s personal. No judgment. I’m just here to help!) The general info is applicable to all US states (I’m pretty sure, but don’t quote me on that…) but I’ll be linking specifically to California sites since that’s where I live, and therefore where I changed my name. Cool? Cool.

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1. First, get your a$% married! No sense in trying to change your name before that, they’ll just laugh you out of the Social Security Administration office. (No, they’ll probably look at you with that dead look in their eyes and just yell, “Next!”) Wait for your official marriage certificate to come in the mail (ours came quick, about 2 weeks after we got married, but it varies depending on the county you’re going through), then you can get started!

2. Social Security Administration: This must be your first stop on the name change tour. It will likely also be the worst. (Have you guys ever been to an SSA office? It’s a little terrifying. Although, I went to the one in Oakland so… that might have something to do with it.) This page has info for changing your name with the SSA, and here’s where you can find the SSA office closest to you.

Bring: Photo ID, your marriage certificate (the original, not a copy), and this form (filled out ahead of time).

3. DMV: That’s right, you get to hit all the hot spots when you change your name! The DMV must be the second place you go on the name change tour. Change your name on your driver’s license and vehicle registration. You can also update your voter registration here — they’ll give you the form with the license application (or maybe it’s on the back? I can’t remember.)

Bring: Your current license, your vehicle’s pink slip, and this form (fill out the top, Section F & Section H). They will give you the license application form at the DMV to fill out (it’s not on the website).
TIPS: You must wait a few days after changing your name with the SSA for it to update in the system before going to the DMV. They WILL make you take a new picture for your license, so make sure you don’t go looking all a hot mess. And, if at all possible — make an appointment! I somehow had the sense to make an appointment with the DMV and was in and out in less than 20 minutes. The non-appointment line was out the door when I went!

At this point, it’s sort of your discretion what you take care of next — here’s the order I went in though.

4. Passport: Go get an updated passport picture taken (since you got all put-together for your license photo, why not do this the same day?) They take these anywhere photos are processed. Fill out this form, then mail it off with your new photo, your old passport, and an original copy of your marriage certificate**.

**Yes, you need to send an official copy of your marriage certificate. So, keep in mind that if you only got one copy of your marriage certificate (like us), this means that you won’t have your marriage certificate for a few weeks. The passport agency will return the marriage certificate to you in the mail, along with your old passport — but it comes separate from (and often later than) your new passport. For reference, I dropped mine in the mail on January 17, and got it back in the mail yesterday, February 9.

5. Bank: I actually changed my name here last, but I’m putting it up here because it’s important. I bank with Bank of America, and they require you to go into a branch to change your name, and you need to have your original marriage certificate with you, along with a photo ID with your new name on it. That’s right, you can’t update your bank info until you’ve gotten your updated license or passport back in the mail. I had mailed off our original marriage certificate with my passport stuff, so I had to wait until I got it back in the mail before updating with B of A.

TIPS: Ask your bank to make your name an AKA on your account (ex: Chelsea MaidenName AKA Chelsea MarriedName), rather than just transferring everything into your new name. This way, if you get any checks addressed to your old name, you’ll still be able to cash them. Also, if you hold any credit cards through your bank, ask them to update your name on those at the same time.

6. Insurance & Credit Cards: These were surprisingly easy to update. I simply contacted our insurance broker and notified him of the change (make sure you update your car insurance policy, renters insurance, home insurance, and any umbrella policies you have — ahem, like your ring insurance policy). For your credit cards, you just call the 800 number listed on the back of your cards and update over the phone. None of mine required a letter or a copy of the marriage certificate or anything. (Kind of explains why identity theft is such a pervasive problem, hmm?)

TIPS: If you’re going to add your spouse as an authorized user to any of your credit cards, do this when you change your name on your card so they can mail you both cards together.

7. Human Resources at Work: Contact your HR manager and get your tax info, 401K, and any health insurance policies (if applicable) updated. Your company will likely require a copy of your new license and Social Security card for their records, but can probably start the process of changing your name before if you haven’t gotten these in the mail yet. Make sure that your company also updates your email address, email signature, any name placards you have, and your business cards.

8. Memberships & Rewards Programs: This includes places like Costco (you have to go to their membership counter with your new license in hand — they’ll also update your picture), hotel and airline miles programs.

TIPS: Updating your name on your airline miles rewards programs is surprisingly kind of a hassle, and can be much slower than even the government agencies. You must send a letter notating the change, with your membership number, along with a copy of your marriage certificate; so, make sure you make a few extra copies before you drop the original into the mail to update your passport! Here are the templates for the letters I sent. In the meantime, you can’t use your rewards number for any flights you book in your new name, so make sure you keep track of them and add them back to your account after your name has been updated.

9. Online Presence: Personal email addresses (I didn’t update mine because it was just too much of a hassle), online profiles (places you shop online, etc.), Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Pinterest, GChat… the list never ends.

10. Miscellaneous: Let’s not forget about your outgoing voicemail messages, magazine subscriptions (I didn’t do this because I didn’t really see the point), any professional networks or associations you belong to (oh hey, California BAR Association — for this, log onto your CA BAR profile and click the link for “change my name or status” — fill out the form and mail in), as well as any other official entities you deal with (like Direct Loans, who handles your ungodly amount of law school debt).

Alright, that’s it I think! 10 easy steps from going from Miss MaidenName to Mrs. MarriedName. How fancy. Honestly, it’s a bit of a hassle to take care of everything, but you can get through the worst of it in just a couple days (and all of it in less than a month).

Note: It’s very strange to get used to a new name (I still can’t quite figure out my signature…); I heard it described once as being like an itchy sweater — not terrible, just something you’re always aware of that feels like it doesn’t fit quite right. My personal plan of action was to get everything migrated over into my married name as soon as possible so I could start my new life and (hopefully) adapt to it that much sooner.

If you guys have questions or anything else to share, feel free to post a comment!

xo, Chelsea MarriedName

Wedding

What’s in a Name?

February 9, 2012

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As most of you know, I got married recently. Yes, after 7 years of dating, KC and I made it official and tied the knot. Interestingly (but not surprisingly, I suppose), there was a lot of discussion amongst our friends, post-wedding, about changing your name after you get married.

A number of my friends got married this past year, so I’d had a few conversations about the whole “name change thing” prior to my own wedding and name change. A specific friend of mine had brought up changing her name early on in our engagements, asking whether I was feeling apprehensive about changing my own name. She explained that she was having mixed feelings about changing her name after she got married, partially because her last name had been a part of her identity for the past 20-some-odd years, but also because the idea of being called Mrs. _______ (the same as her fiancee’s mother), made her cringe a bit. Honestly, up to this point, I hadn’t put that much thought into changing my name — it really didn’t seem like that big a deal to me for some reason. My mother changed her name when she got married, as had both of my grandmothers. I had some friends and relatives who had chosen to keep their maiden names after marriage, but always wondered a bit why they had chosen not to make the change (and what you do about naming your children, when you and your spouse have different surnames).

When my friend voiced her concerns about changing her name, and asked about my feelings regarding my own name change, I answered honestly. I told her that I hadn’t put much thought into it, as it hadn’t really concerned me much. I didn’t see changing my name as abandoning my identity or family, I saw it as becoming a family with KC. I had wanted to marry KC for as long as I could remember, and changing my name made me view us as a cohesive unit — a team.

I can see why many women are unsure about changing their name (I get it, it’s the 21st century — why should it be the woman who still has to adapt and change for marriage?) Sometimes it’s personal preference, many times it’s a professional hurdle (honestly, the biggest hassle of the name change was transitioning back to my work life with a brand-new moniker). And I certainly understand that it’s not exactly a bowl-full of candy to go and change your name everywhere it exists (and let me just tell you, your name is EVERYWHERE on EVERYTHING). For me, changing my name was just a part of getting married; and the hassle of changing my own name was far outweighed (in my mind) by the benefits of becoming a married unit with KC.

Obviously, it’s a personal decision (and probably a conversation with your spouse-to-be). I’m curious to hear your thoughts on the subject — men and women alike (as men have surprisingly strong views about this topic, I’ve discovered). Are you planning to change your name? Or if you’re male, do you want your future spouse to change her name? Will you be taking your spouse’s name, hyphenating, or creating something completely new? I’d love to hear!

Interesting article on the topic here.

A post on steps to changing your name coming up!

Wedding

Staying Organized and Not Losing Your Mind

August 10, 2011

So in my last post, (I think it was written, what, approximately 1 million years ago? Yes, that sounds about right.) I touched on the fact that beginning to plan a wedding can be a daunting and overwhelming task. Even the most laid-back and together brides have been known lose it on occasion (What do you MEAN the caterer broke her leg and can’t do our wedding now? *cut to someone punching a wall*). It’s understandable. If you’ve done some research, you’ve seen those bridal “to-do” lists out there. Even when you check something off the list, somehow there’s still 50,000 things left to do (OMG boutonnieres? Sh!#…) Not to mention that there’s approximately a billion wedding websites out there posting bridal inspiration on the daily.

So, how do you stay sane and keep it all together while planning your own big day? Well, maybe you yell a lot (at other people). Maybe you take up heavy drinking. Maybe you just crawl into a corner and cry.

Here’s what I did (and am still doing… I’m still 4 months out, remember?).

1. Find what you like and stick to it.

First and foremost, I swam in the bridal-inspiration pool for the first few weeks of engagement. I had a general idea of what I wanted, (a winter wedding, near Christmas) but wasn’t really clear on the details like color schemes, centerpieces, etc. I loaded up on magazines and allowed myself to savor the hugely insane world of in-print weddings (seriously, the weddings they feature on marthastewartweddings.com must cost a freaking fortune). From this, I landed on a color palette and the general feel I wanted for the wedding. At this point, some people stop looking at wedding magazines and websites because, frankly, it can get a bit overwhelming. The sheer size and volume of wedding ideas that are out there… it’s crazy. So, if you’re someone who gets buyer’s remorse a lot — it might be best to take your hand off the mouse and step away from the computer. Your bridesmaids certainly won’t appreciate the constant barrage of emails saying “Remember how I said get a blue dress for a tropical wedding in Barbados? Well now it’s got to be a black dress because we’re getting married in a loft in NY. Or maybe sage green because it’s going to be outside in a barn. Or…” However, I’m not generally the type of person who changes her mind easily, so I wasn’t too worried about seeing some springtime pink-and-mint-green outdoor fiesta and suddenly thinking, “DAMNIT THAT’S THE KIND OF WEDDING I WANT!” So I kept up with the inspiration, bookmarking images here and there with details I still needed for my big day (a hair or makeup style, a guest book, invitation ideas, etc). Pretty soon, I had a draft email labeled “wedding inspiration” with about 50 links copied and pasted into it. Not so much what I was really going for when I said, “organized.”

Then, I found Pinterest.

Pinterest is a place where you can save images onto self-titled inspiration boards. I created one for my wedding, and it’s where I keep all those little snippets and images of inspiration I’ve found online over the past months. Now my “wedding inspiration” email is a well-organized board of visual wedding-bliss. (If you’re really curious, you can take a look at my Pinterest boards here. ***Note: No, my actual wedding dress is not on my wedding inspiration board. Sorry folks.)

2. Get organized, stay organized.

While we’re on the subject, as with any large project with many pieces coming together, it’s important to stay organized while planning. This is especially important when it comes to dealing with vendors; because you know what? You’re paying them money. Probably a lot. And you guys have a contract that’s legally binding (if you don’t, step away from this blog right now and get your terms in writing STAT.) But if you don’t know what that contract says, or where that contract IS — you could be setting yourself up for big problems come wedding day.

I stay organized by keeping all my written communication with vendors in a special wedding folder in my email. This way, I can go back and say, “See? You said you’d have the invitations done by this date — I have it in WRITING.” (Ahem, LAWYERED.) I keep all my contracts and important documents in a folder at home as well, so I don’t have to go frantically tearing through my apartment looking for the contract that says when the last deposit on the venue is due.

I also follow a wedding checklist which is broken down by month. I use a combination of the one on marthastewartweddings.com (it’s the link labeled “checklist”) and the one that comes in the Real Simple Weddings Magazine (there’s an online version of it here). These make planning the wedding seem more manageable, by breaking up the tasks by when they should be completed by. (So your brain isn’t suddenly overloaded by the 1,247 tasks on the wedding planning to-do list.)

3. Plan ahead.

A little tip from me to you: read ahead on your to-do list. As the wedding gets closer, you’ll have more tasks to take care of. Some of the tasks which are listed later on can be taken care of early, which makes the couple months leading up to your wedding when the tasks pile up that much easier. For instance, if you know your colors already, there’s no reason that you need to wait until 6 months before to choose bridesmaid dresses. In fact, it’s actually to your benefit to shop for those 9-12 months before the wedding, as the dresses in stores then will coincide with the season of your wedding (because, you know what? It’s really hard to find bridesmaid dresses for a winter wedding in JULY. Seriously.) Also, at the end of the season, all those dresses will likely be on sale. I got the dresses for my ‘maids in January for $50 from JCrew (yes, $5-0). I’m happy because the dresses are great, my bridesmaids are happy because the dresses are cheap (win-win). This also makes things easier on your bridesmaids, as, let’s not forget, they’re going to have wedding expenses adding up as your wedding gets closer too — shower gifts, bachelorette party, not to mention dress alterations and accessories.

Moving right off that point — there aren’t just a lot of tasks which pile up on that to-do list as your wedding day approaches, there are a lot of costs. Keep this in mind for yourself as well for those involved in your big day. I tried to pay for as much as I could ahead of time, so that my bank account wouldn’t suffer quite so heavily come November/December. For instance: bridesmaid gifts? I bought them in March. (I knew what I wanted and waited for them to go on sale — sha-zam!) My wedding day shellac mani/pedi? Bought it on groupon a couple weeks ago (prepaid and saved — double the fun, double the awesomeness). Because there are certain things you can’t buy ahead of time, (your hair and makeup for the day of, for instance — unless you’re doing it yourself) it’s nice to spread out the cost of the other little things that crop up throughout the planning process to make those final months just a tad more enjoyable for you and your bank account.

4. Keep everything in perspective.

Yes, it’s almost guaranteed that at some point during the planning process you will lose it. You might yell, you might cry, you might just throw down the vendors list and storm out of the room (raise your hand high if you did all three…) — whatever it is that got you to that point, remember to keep a few things in mind.

1. It’s perfectly normal. I lost my cool early on in the planning process when what I thought was our dream venue fell through after weeks of waiting on its availability (very frustrating to say the least). It was at this point that KC reminded me of something very important: it doesn’t matter where the wedding is, it doesn’t matter whether everything goes perfectly or if everything goes to hell in a hand basket on the day of — all that matters is you’re getting married.

2. There are plenty of people who want to help you. Chances are they’ve tried to make this clear to you, and would be absolutely thrilled if you asked them to assist you with something wedding-related. Most people don’t want to step on your toes because it’s your day; but if you ask them for help, guess what? They’ll probably help you. Gladly. When our caterers fell through and I was at my wits-end researching vendors, I asked my mom to step in. I told her I trusted her judgment and ultimately left it up to her to find a caterer for our wedding day. And you know what? She found a caterer — and so far, they’re amazing. Remember to repeat this to yourself throughout the planning process: IT’S OK TO DELEGATE. (This is not to say that you should corral a friend or family member into hosting your wedding reception, as well as making your dress and baking a 14-tier chocolate ganache wedding cake for you — but you get the drift.)

3. And finally, remember that the people who are important will be there, and they won’t care (and probably won’t even notice) whether everything is perfect or not. If at the end of it all you end up married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with… Well guess what? Your wedding was a success. Pat yourself on the back and remember that they invented honeymoons for a reason.

Wedding

Sources of Inspiration

July 7, 2011

This is a special post for all you fresh-out-of-the-box engaged peeps out there (yes, I’m talking about you, Michelle!) If you’re recently engaged, and not a stalker of wedding blogs as I might have been prior to getting engaged (ALLEGEDLY, alright?), you might be wondering where to overload your eyeballs with all things WEDDING. Sooo, with that in mind, I’ve put together a list of my favorite places to get inspired (aka over-indulge on wedded bliss, visual-style):

Magazines

Martha Stewart Weddings: you can’t go wrong with Martha. She puts out 4 wedding issues a year, and each one is like pure bridal-crack that goes straight through my veins into my heart. Also, the fact that she more than occasionally puts giant diamonds on the covers of her mags? Really, Martha? It’s kind of just mean. You know I can’t turn away from a perfectly antique-y looking emerald-cut. (Shhhh, ok, nevermind, you don’t have to stop, Martha. I’ll probably still buy them even after I’m married, but NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW.)

2. Real Simple Weddings: If you’re thinking about shelling out $25+ for one of those wedding binder planner thingies, buy this magazine first. This “magazine” has boiled down the wedding planning process into an easy-to-read-and-digest little booklet. (It’s wayyyyyy better and more helpful than those other bride magazines which are basically just ads for wedding dresses and hideous bridesmaid attire. TRUTH.) Honestly, it’s probably the most helpful planning tool I bought for my wedding, and it’s only $12 (I think? I can’t remember). They don’t sell this everywhere, but they have it at pretty major retailers like Target and Crate and Barrel. Bonus: it has a little tear-out information card at the back with a registry checklist and other helpful info for when you’re out planning. Sa-WEET!Blogs and Other Online Inspiration

weddinggawker: This site is like the be-all and end-all of the wedding blogisphere (blogosphere? WordPress seems to think both are misspelled, so, anywho…). I don’t know if you’ve ever checked out the sister-site, foodgawker (it’s one of my absolute faves), but it’s the same idea, just with weddings instead of recipes. Each day there’s a whole new lot of weddings to check out and inspire (or overwhelm) your senses.
Snippet and Ink: This is probably my favorite wedding site, of all the ones I check out on a regular basis. Snippet and Ink is based in the bay area (bonus points!), and Kathryn, the author, has impeccable taste and rightfully pointed out the newest (and in my mind, annoying) wedding trend: designing a wedding where it appears that Anthropologie has exploded all over everything. I, A. love that she noticed this too (because it drives me freaking crazy), and B. like that she doesn’t post weddings of this certain persuasion. (Seriously, you guys, they’re everywhere. I can. not. handle it.)
Grey Likes Weddings: This is another basic wedding blog that features classically beautiful weddings on the daily. Most recently, it featured a deep-south engagement shoot that made me want to move to Georgia like, stat. (Sadly, I don’t know that my delicate California-weather-loving constitution could handle it though.)
Style Me Pretty: This is another mecca for wedding inspiration. The site generally features multiple real-wedding posts daily; so if you’re not sure where to look for something — check here, they’ve probably done a feature on it.
Ruffled: Vintage-inspired wedding blog. Weddings and crafty ideas you can implement for your own wedding day.
Love and Lavender: One of my early faves, wedding-blog-wise. There’s always lots of details featured here, so if you’re trying to figure out centerpieces or what to do for your seating chart — look here!
Green Wedding Shoes: A So-Cal based wedding blog that seems to always have the scoop on what’s new and hot in the wedding-world. I fell in love the day they featured underwater-photo save the dates that read “We’re taking the plunge!” A-dorb.
100 Layer Cake: A go-to for those in the wedding blog world (though they do tend towards those hipster-Anthro weddings I mentioned above… I swear, if I see one more freaking newsie-cap-clad groomsman…)
Martha Stewart Weddings: Um, OBVIOUSLY. Do you have questions about vows? Etiquette? Your guest list? Talk to Martha. She knows her wedding shiz. If you look at one wedding site, and one wedding site alone — LOOK HERE.
And if you’re still at a loss, browse through the Top 100 Wedding Blogs of 2011. If there’s nothing in there you like, well, I don’t know what to tell you (other than I’m kinda glad I’m not your wedding planner. Just sayin’. I still like you though. Hugs!)

Other Online Tools

Create your own wedding website (for free!): I used WeddingWire, but The Knot is also very popular. I’ve heard good things about Project Wedding, and the themes over at Wedding JoJo are super cute. BEWARE: Some sites claim to be free, but are only free for a limited time after you sign up (yes, I’m talking about you, ewedding), or only offer certain features for free. Make sure to read the fine print before you spend all that time putting your site together and printing it up on your save-the-dates, because it’s super annoying to have to shell out cash for something you could have gotten for free! (Because, for real, you’ll have enough little wedding expenses slowly draining your bank account. “I have you get all my bridesmaids GIFTS???? S#!t! Isn’t that hideous dress I made them buy enough??” Umm, no, no it’s not.)
Wedding budget worksheet: I use this one from Real Simple. You can print out a new copy whenever you want! (Oh, the simultaneous joy and pain of having all your wedding expenses neatly organized into one little sheet!)

Ok, that’s all for now, folks! I hope that I have sufficiently attacked your eyeballs and brain with more wedding inspiration sources than you can even handle. Now are you feeling stressed and overloaded with all the prettiness that is wedding inspiration-land? (Omg, they have individual hand-written thank you notes for every guest as their seating card… Am I supposed to do that? And everyone has their own homemade mini-pie-in-a-jar? F%$@, how am I going to make 200 pies? How do you even make jar pie? I don’t even have any jars yet! It says these were sourced individually at thrift shops and every single one is from prior to 1950… Mother F, my wedding is going to be the worst wedding ever UNLESS I GET 200 HOMEMADE PIES IN INDIVIDUALLY THRIFTED VINTAGE JARS!). First of all, calm the F down, Jesus. Second, we’ll cover that whole “I’m overloaded with details and I feel like my head is going to explode” feeling another time.

Until then, BREATHE. And ask Martha.

Until next time!

Chelsea

Wedding

Remember When…

June 30, 2011

Remember when I was like the worst blogger ever? Oh right, that’s pretty much all. the. time. these days. Woops! To be fair, I have a full-time job, a life, a wedding to plan, and various other excuses for my delinquency (yeah I for sheez just had to spell check the crap out of that word. Like woah.)

So, aside from not posting, like, ever (my bad…) I totally just glossed over some major points with that last post. Or, glossed over one major point and then didn’t even address the other thing. (Omg, worst.) Also, I’m pretty sure that last line was the vaguest sentence ever written in the English language, right there. My college English professors are shuddering at what this blog has become, I’m sure. (Sorry peeps! I blame law school for making all sense I had of the written word turn to sh**. $200K well spent I’d say. *hurl.)

Getting back to the godforsaken point of this post though: I didn’t even cover a moderately important step of newly-engaged-ness, and basically wrote down “start your venue search” and then laughed evil-ly as I pretty much failed to give you any helpful information on one of the biggest and most important wedding planning steps. (See above, re: worst blogger ever.)

So that slightly (or really) important step I just completely failed to mention? Insuring your ring! (Oh right, right, my H2B just dropped $2 mil on this rock soooo I MIGHT want to get some insurance in case I lose/swallow/accidentally barter it in return for a kidney because I don’t speak the language and thought I was getting a Birkin handbag for like 150 euros, it.) Get it?

Maybe it was worth it? No, no it wasn’t. Even if it was for a Birkin.

So, how do you insure the bling? The most common way to do it is through your own insurer (home insurer, rental insurer, car insurer, etc.) It’s also usually cheaper to do it this way, as a lot of insurance companies give you discounts when you bundle policies (thus, how KC’s insurance guy was able to talk us into rental insurance — I know, I know, it’s the “responsible” thing to do… blah blah blah) In order to get your ice insured, you need to have it appraised and get a copy of the appraisal. Most jewelry stores offer this service, so you can likely get it done wherever your man bought your ring, if it didn’t come with the appraisal automatically. The insurance policy you’ll get will be based on the amount of the appraisal, not the amount the H2B threw down on the ring. The ring should appraise for at least as much as your man paid for it, and will likely appraise for (much) more. If your appraisal is less than what your man paid, run away from that jewelry store and never do business with them again because you got ripped. off. TRUTH.

Generally, most insurers offer comprehensive insurance for your ring for about $1-$3 per $100 in value, based on the appraisal. So if your ring appraised for $10,000.00, your yearly insurance would cost between $100 and $300. (And you know how much peace of mind is worth when it comes to pricey symbols of eternal love? A LOT MORE THAN $300.)

So, in conclusion: insure your ring. It’s good for the heart, good for your investment, good for the bottle, good for the can. (Or is that recycling?)

Moving right along…

The great venue search. I really just barely touched on this in my last post. There’s a lot more to the venue search that just finding a venue that will hold those 150 people on your guest list. So here are some things to consider when starting your venue search:

1. Capacity: remember when I just said there’s more to the venue search than just finding one that holds the number of guests on your guest list? Well, I wasn’t kidding about that… BUT, capacity is the number one thing you should look at (just cuz I said it’s not the only thing to look at doesn’t mean it’s not important. Sheesh.) Let’s just get real for a second here: what if you absolutely luuuurrrrvvvee a venue, but it only holds 75 people, and your guest list is 200? MOVE RIGHT ALONG PAST IT. Or cut your list (Grandma didn’t really want to come anyway, right?) Actually, let’s make it a little more realistic: your guest list is 200, and you find a venue you love that holds 175 — perfect? Nay nay. Unless you’re going to cut your guest list to 175, I would avoid this. Just because everyone *says* to plan for 20% of your guests to RSVP “no,” you might just be the one freaking exception where the H2B’s distant Swedish cousins decide this is the time to see the glorious US of A, bringing your list to 195 yesses (omg, that so does not look like a real word…), and everyone’s super crabby at the reception because you made couples share chairs due to lack of space. (Clearly, you can see how my mind works here; and yes, I am always this crazy, pretty much. How in the world did KC ever get to be so lucky?…)

2. Price, and what’s included: You can generally tell what venues are in and out of your price range based on the information posted online; however, it’s important to ask about what comes included within that price. KC and I picked a venue which was very reasonably priced, but as a result, comes with very little included. We’re renting tables, chairs, linens, all sorts of stuff. When you factor all this in, the price of the venue (obviously) goes up. On the pricier venues, it’s important to see what’s included in their proposal price — all dishware and glassware? That’s HUGE. Tables and chairs? Awesome. Doves you can release after the ceremony as a symbol of your eternal love? Ummm, completely unnecessary, but… cool? I guess?

3. Additional Costs: Going hand in hand with the “what’s included” question above, is any additional costs you might incur while using the venue. Is a rehearsal the day or week before included in the cost, or is it an additional expense? What happens if your guests stay beyond the time allotted by the venue? Is there an extra fee? Does the venue charge for clean-up or setup?

4. Food: Is catering done in house? Is there a list of preferred caterers? Can you bring in any caterer you choose? If the caterer is in-house, ask what the catering price range is and what it includes. Be sure to inquire about beverage pricing and anything that might be extra (pouring champagne for toasts, cake cutting and plating, etc. — seriously, some caterers charge for every little thing. It’s kind of annoying.) If the catering is not provided, is there a kitchen that an outside caterer will have access to? (TIP: ASK TO SEE IT.)

5. Coordination: When you’re renting a venue, ask who your point person will be (who you’ll be dealing with at the venue when you have questions — which you will). Also ask whether the venue provides staffing for the event, or if they have a day-of coordinator on-site who will run the show while you’re off, y’know, GETTING MARRIED and don’t want to be bothered with the dishwasher who is 45 minutes late. (Seriously, this is huge. If your venue doesn’t offer a person to provide this service, I’d HIGHLY recommend hiring someone to play this role — they can wrangle all your vendors and be the point person people go to if there are any issues, because for real, I do. not. want to hear about how there’s not enough ice or how Uncle Donnie tapped the keg wrong and now it’s all foam. F!)

6. Insurance: Yep, we’re talking about it again. Many venues require you to buy insurance for the day of festivities. Some venues offer insurance for an additional fee, while others make you get it on your own (it’s generally available through your parents’ (or your) homeowner’s policy).

In short, there are a lot of little costs that go into renting a venue, which can suddenly make that bargain-of-a-joint not so much of a bargain anymore. So the best plan of action? COME PREPARED. Arm yourself with some knowledge and get the full scoop before you commit (because that’s what you did before you decided to legally bind yourself to that boy — or girl — for life, right? Right.)

Here’s a little cheat sheet, courtesy of herecomestheguide.com, for questions to ask during the big venue search:

What dates are available in the month I’m considering?
How many people can this location accommodate?
What is the rental fee and what is included in that price? Is there a discount for booking an off-season date or on Sunday through Friday?
How much is the deposit, when is it due, and is it refundable? What’s the payment plan for the entire bill?
Can I hold my ceremony here, too? Is there an additional charge? Is the ceremony site close to the reception site? Is there a bride’s changing area? How much time is allocated for the rehearsal?
What’s the cancellation policy? NOTE: Some places will refund most of your deposit if you cancel far enough in advance (often 60 days), since there’s still a chance they can rent the space. After a certain date, though, you may not be able to get a refund—at least not a full one).
What’s your weather contingency plan for outdoor spaces?
How long will I have use of the event space(s) I reserve? Is there an overtime fee if I stay longer? Is there a minimum or maximum rental time?
Can I move things around and decorate to suit my purposes, or do I have to leave everything as is? Are there decoration guidelines/restrictions? Can I use real candles? TIP: Keep the existing décor in mind when planning your own decorations so that they won’t clash. If your event is in December, ask what the venue’s holiday décor will be.
How much time will I have for décor setup? Does the venue provide assistance getting gifts or décor back to a designated car, hotel room, etc. after the event has concluded?
Do you provide a coat check service (especially important for winter weddings)? If not, is there an area that can be used and staffed for that purpose?
Is there an outdoor space where my guests can mingle, and can it be heated and/or protected from the elements if necessary? Is there a separate indoor “socializing” space?
Do you have an in-house caterer or a list of “preferred” caterers, or do I need to provide my own? Even if there is an in-house caterer, do I have the option of using an outside caterer instead?
If I hire my own caterer, are kitchen facilities available for them? NOTE: Caterers charge extra if they have to haul in refrigerators and stoves.
Are tables, chairs, plates, silverware and glassware provided, or will I have to rent them myself or get them through my caterer?
What is the food and beverage cost on a per/person basis? What is the service charge?
Can we do a food tasting prior to finalizing our menu selection? If so, is there an additional charge?
Can I bring in a cake from an outside cake maker or must I use a cake made on the premises? Is there a cake-cutting fee? If I use a cake made on site is the fee waived?
Can I bring my own wine, beer or champagne, and is there a corkage fee if I do? Can I bring in other alcohol?
Are you licensed to provide alcohol service? If so, is alcohol priced per person? By consumption? Are there additional charges for bar staff? Is there a bar minimum that must be met before the conclusion of the event? What is the average bar tab for the number of people attending my event? NOTE: Some facilities (private estates and wineries in particular) aren’t licensed to serve hard alcohol. You may need to get permission from the location to bring in an outside beverage catering company.
Are there restrictions on what kind of music I can play, or a time by which the music must end? Can the venue accommodate a DJ or live band? TIP: Check where the outlets are located in your event space, because that will help you figure out where the band can set up, and where other vendors can hook up their equipment. You don’t want the head table to block the only outlet in the room.
Is there parking on site? If so, is it complimentary? Do you offer valet parking, and what is the charge? If there is no parking on site, where will my guests park? Are cabs easily accessible from the venue? TIP: You should have the venue keep track of the number of cars parked for your event and add the total valet gratuity to your final bill so that your guests won’t have to tip.
How many restrooms are there? TIP: You should have at least 10 restrooms per 100 people.
Do you offer on-site coordination? If so, what services are included and is there an additional charge for them? Will the coordinator supervise day-of? How much assistance can I get with the setup/décor?
What security services do you offer? Do I need to hire my own security guards, or does the site hire them or have them on staff? TIP: In general, you should have 2 security guards for the first 100 guests and 1 more for every additional 100 guests.
Does the venue have liability insurance? NOTE: If someone gets injured during the party, you don’t want to be held responsible—if the site doesn’t have insurance, you’ll need to get your own. For info on insurance click here.
Can I hire my own vendors (caterer, coordinator, DJ, etc.), or must I select from a preferred vendor list? If I can bring my own, do you have a list of recommended vendors?
What overnight accommodations do you provide? Do you offer a discount for booking multiple rooms? Do you provide a complimentary room or upgrade for the newlyweds? What are the nearest hotels to the venue? TIP: Some venues have partnerships with local hotels that offer a discount if you book a block of rooms.
Do you have signage or other aids to direct guests to my event?
Do you have a recycling policy?

Alright peeps, hopefully you’re not too thoroughly bored out of your mind with this novel-of-a-post. Maybe you feel very informed and ready to make a smart decision on where you and the boy will ultimately tie that knot. That’s what I hope, anyway.

**Final note: SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO MICHELLE AND BRIAN WHO GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY!!! WHOOP WHOOP! Michelle is the cutest and best BFF a girl could ask for, and she couldn’t have picked a nicer guy than Brian to bind herself to in hoooooly matrimony. Huge congrats to you both! (But especially to Brian, because he’s the real big winner — he get’s Michelle!) 😉

Over and out,

Chels.