So in my last post, (I think it was written, what, approximately 1 million years ago?  Yes, that sounds about right.) I touched on the fact that beginning to plan a wedding can be a daunting and overwhelming task.  Even the most laid-back and together brides have been known lose it on occasion (What do you MEAN the caterer broke her leg and can’t do our wedding now?  *cut to someone punching a wall*).  It’s understandable.  If you’ve done some research, you’ve seen those bridal “to-do” lists out there.  Even when you check something off the list, somehow there’s still 50,000 things left to do (OMG boutonnieres?  Sh!#…)  Not to mention that there’s approximately a billion wedding websites out there posting bridal inspiration on the daily.

So, how do you stay sane and keep it all together while planning your own big day?  Well, maybe you yell a lot (at other people).  Maybe you take up heavy drinking.  Maybe you just crawl into a corner and cry.

Here’s what I did (and am still doing…  I’m still 4 months out, remember?).

1. Find what you like and stick to it. 

First and foremost, I swam in the bridal-inspiration pool for the first few weeks of engagement.  I had a general idea of what I wanted, (a winter wedding, near Christmas) but wasn’t really clear on the details like color schemes, centerpieces, etc.  I loaded up on magazines and allowed myself to savor the hugely insane world of in-print weddings (seriously, the weddings they feature on marthastewartweddings.com must cost a freaking fortune).  From this, I landed on a color palette and the general feel I wanted for the wedding.  At this point, some people stop looking at wedding magazines and websites because, frankly, it can get a bit overwhelming.  The sheer size and volume of wedding ideas that are out there… it’s crazy.  So, if you’re someone who gets buyer’s remorse a lot — it might be best to take your hand off the mouse and step away from the computer.  Your bridesmaids certainly won’t appreciate the constant barrage of emails saying “Remember how I said get a blue dress for a tropical wedding in Barbados?  Well now it’s got to be a black dress because we’re getting married in a loft in NY.  Or maybe sage green because it’s going to be outside in a barn.  Or…”  However, I’m not generally the type of person who changes her mind easily, so I wasn’t too worried about seeing some springtime pink-and-mint-green outdoor fiesta and suddenly thinking, “DAMNIT THAT’S THE KIND OF WEDDING I WANT!”  So I kept up with the inspiration, bookmarking images here and there with details I still needed for my big day (a hair or makeup style, a guest book, invitation ideas, etc).  Pretty soon, I had a draft email labeled “wedding inspiration” with about 50 links copied and pasted into it.  Not so much what I was really going for when I said, “organized.”

Then, I found Pinterest.

Pinterest is a place where you can save images onto self-titled inspiration boards.  I created one for my wedding, and it’s where I keep all those little snippets and images of inspiration I’ve found online over the past months.  Now my “wedding inspiration” email is a well-organized board of visual wedding-bliss.  (If you’re really curious, you can take a look at my Pinterest boards here.  ***Note: No, my actual wedding dress is not on my wedding inspiration board.  Sorry folks.)

2. Get organized, stay organized.

While we’re on the subject, as with any large project with many pieces coming together, it’s important to stay organized while planning.  This is especially important when it comes to dealing with vendors; because you know what?  You’re paying them money.  Probably a lot.  And you guys have a contract that’s legally binding (if you don’t, step away from this blog right now and get your terms in writing STAT.)  But if you don’t know what that contract says, or where that contract IS — you could be setting yourself up for big problems come wedding day.

I stay organized by keeping all my written communication with vendors in a special wedding folder in my email.  This way, I can go back and say, “See?  You said you’d have the invitations done by this date — I have it in WRITING.”  (Ahem, LAWYERED.)  I keep all my contracts and important documents in a folder at home as well, so I don’t have to go frantically tearing through my apartment looking for the contract that says when the last deposit on the venue is due.

I also follow a wedding checklist which is broken down by month.  I use a combination of the one on marthastewartweddings.com (it’s the link labeled “checklist”) and the one that comes in the Real Simple Weddings Magazine (there’s an online version of it here).  These make planning the wedding seem more manageable, by breaking up the tasks by when they should be completed by.  (So your brain isn’t suddenly overloaded by the 1,247 tasks on the wedding planning to-do list.)

3. Plan ahead.

A little tip from me to you: read ahead on your to-do list.  As the wedding gets closer, you’ll have more tasks to take care of.  Some of the tasks which are listed later on can be taken care of early, which makes the couple months leading up to your wedding when the tasks pile up that much easier.  For instance, if you know your colors already, there’s no reason that you need to wait until 6 months before to choose bridesmaid dresses.  In fact, it’s actually to your benefit to shop for those 9-12 months before the wedding, as the dresses in stores then will coincide with the season of your wedding (because, you know what?  It’s really hard to find bridesmaid dresses for a winter wedding in JULY.  Seriously.)  Also, at the end of the season, all those dresses will likely be on sale.  I got the dresses for my ‘maids in January for $50 from JCrew (yes, $5-0).  I’m happy because the dresses are great, my bridesmaids are happy because the dresses are cheap (win-win).  This also makes things easier on your bridesmaids, as, let’s not forget, they’re going to have wedding expenses adding up as your wedding gets closer too — shower gifts, bachelorette party, not to mention dress alterations and accessories.

Moving right off that point — there aren’t just a lot of tasks which pile up on that to-do list as your wedding day approaches, there are a lot of costs.  Keep this in mind for yourself as well for those involved in your big day.  I tried to pay for as much as I could ahead of time, so that my bank account wouldn’t suffer quite so heavily come November/December.  For instance: bridesmaid gifts?  I bought them in March.  (I knew what I wanted and waited for them to go on sale — sha-zam!)  My wedding day shellac mani/pedi?  Bought it on groupon a couple weeks ago (prepaid and saved — double the fun, double the awesomeness).  Because there are certain things you can’t buy ahead of time, (your hair and makeup for the day of, for instance — unless you’re doing it yourself) it’s nice to spread out the cost of the other little things that crop up throughout the planning process to make those final months just a tad more enjoyable for you and your bank account.

4. Keep everything in perspective.

Yes, it’s almost guaranteed that at some point during the planning process you will lose it.  You might yell, you might cry, you might just throw down the vendors list and storm out of the room (raise your hand high if you did all three…) — whatever it is that got you to that point, remember to keep a few things in mind.

1. It’s perfectly normal.  I lost my cool early on in the planning process when what I thought was our dream venue fell through after weeks of waiting on its availability (very frustrating to say the least).  It was at this point that KC reminded me of something very important: it doesn’t matter where the wedding is, it doesn’t matter whether everything goes perfectly or if everything goes to hell in a hand basket on the day of — all that matters is you’re getting married.

2. There are plenty of people who want to help you.  Chances are they’ve tried to make this clear to you, and would be absolutely thrilled if you asked them to assist you with something wedding-related.  Most people don’t want to step on your toes because it’s your day; but if you ask them for help, guess what?  They’ll probably help you.  Gladly.  When our caterers fell through and I was at my wits-end researching vendors, I asked my mom to step in.  I told her I trusted her judgment and ultimately left it up to her to find a caterer for our wedding day.  And you know what?  She found a caterer — and so far, they’re amazing.  Remember to repeat this to yourself throughout the planning process:  IT’S OK TO DELEGATE.  (This is not to say that you should corral a friend or family member into hosting your wedding reception, as well as making your dress and baking a 14-tier chocolate ganache wedding cake for you — but you get the drift.)

3. And finally, remember that the people who are important will be there, and they won’t care (and probably won’t even notice) whether everything is perfect or not.  If at the end of it all you end up married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with…  Well guess what?  Your wedding was a success.  Pat yourself on the back and remember that they invented honeymoons for a reason.