Pregnancy

Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

penny and the belly

For some reason, pregnancy seems to give people this idea that they can give you advice, ask personal questions, or just generally pass along unnecessary and unhelpful little comments.  Here are a few I’ve heard personally, and a few things that were said to friends of mine during pregnancy:

  1. “Wow, you have a long way to go.”  (Recently said to me after I told someone I was almost 7 months along.  I’m not sure how long she thinks pregnancy is, but it came across as “Jeez, from the looks of it, I thought you were 100 months pregnant.”  Thanks.)
  2. “That baby must be coming soon!”  or “You must be due any day now!”  (Unless you actually know that the person is due any day, this just gets interpreted as, “Hey, you look huge!”)
  3. “You’re so big!”  (Um… thanks?)
  4. “You’re so small/you’re barely even showing, are you sure you’re pregnant?”  (Yep, pretty sure.)
  5. “What’s your birth plan?”  (My plan is for the baby to come out.)
  6. When finding out you’re planning on a natural birth: “Oh… Good luck with that.”  (…Thanks?)
  7. “Are you sure it’s not a [opposite gender of what you just said you’re having]?”  (Well, more sure than your “intuition” based entirely on how I’m carrying.)
  8. “You look really tired.”  (Thanks.  You sound really mean.)
  9. “What’s the name you picked?  Why aren’t you telling people?  Can you just tell me?”  (Nope.)
  10. “You’re not going to be one of those lame people who never does anything after their kid is born, right?”  (Not sure yet, but probably.  See you never.)

Let’s all take a minute to remember that pregnancy, while amazing, isn’t easy.  Your life isn’t what it used to be, you’re carrying around a lot of extra weight (my hips, and joints in general, currently HATE me), and your hormones are like, “Hey, remember when you were 13?  Remember when you had reaaaallly bad PMS?  Let’s combine those two things and multiply it by 100!”  Remember that the person you’re talking to is still a person, and they know they’ve gained weight, they know pregnancy can be tiring, and if they say they know the gender — trust them.

Here are a few things you can say to a pregnant person that might just make their day:

  1. “How are you feeling?”
  2. “You look great!”
  3. “You’re totally glowing.”
  4. “Here, why don’t you sit down.”
  5. “I brought you this ice cream.”  (Mostly this one.)