Dear KC and Penny:  It’s so nice to be home with you two after being in New York for a whole week.  But boooo to coming home to you having the flu!  (KC, not Penny.)

Dear Flu:  Having you around is the opposite of fun, especially while being pregnant, since I have to wear gloves and a mask around to make sure I don’t get sick from my own house.

Dear KC:  Should have gotten that flu shot like I was bugging you to.  Grrr…

Dear Flying While Pregnant:  You are the worst.  Those seats are so terrible and uncomfortable, and the 2-hour sitting-on-the-plane delay on the way to and from New York was just plain mean.  My upper back is still mad about it.

Dear Aisle Seat:  You were the best and most necessary part of both flights.  I might as well have just reserved my flight seat as “lavatory 2.”

Dear Baby:  So fun how you like to hang out on my bladder all day long.  So.  Fun.

Dear Whole Foods:  I don’t understand how I spent the same amount of money on half a bag of groceries at your store as I spent on two overflowing bags of groceries at Trader Joe’s.  I guess there’s a reason people call you “Whole Paycheck.”

Dear Whole Foods Sandwich Makers:  Are you literally butchering the pig yourself to get that bacon or something?  I thought I was gonna go into labor waiting for that BLT.

Dear Bellybutton:  Every week I look to see if you’re still there.  So far so good.

Dear Valentine’s Day:  So far my big plans for your arrival are teaching Bar Method and watching a movie in bed.  Sounds like it’s gonna be a good one this year.

Love, Chelsea