Dear Seuss:  I don’t know what you’re doing just hanging out on top of your litter box.  You are the weirdest.

Dear BART:  Riding you while being pregnant makes me hate humanity.  I’m so excited to take a 3 week break from you starting tomorrow.

Dear Holiday Break:  Get here nowwww.

Dear Pregnancy Hormones:  Is everyone super annoying right now or is it just you?  (It’s probably just you, but Jesus.)

Dear New Orleans:  I’m so excited to come see you!  I am going to eat the heck out of all your beignets.

Dear Baby:  It’s so fun to feel all the little kicks you’ve been giving me lately.  Kinda crazy that we’re closing in on the halfway mark in just a couple weeks.

Dear Eggs:  I can’t seem to get enough of you lately.  (Uhh, I may have eaten 10 in a 24 hour period recently…)

Dear Second Trimester:  So far you are officially the best.  No more morning sickness (hallelujah), some fun baby movement, and a finally visible bump to boot.  That round ligament pain isn’t much fun, but I’ll take that over the 24-hour nausea/puking any day of the week.

Dear Sleep:  Hey, so it would be cool if we could meet up for like a solid 7-8 hours, instead of this “fall asleep at a reasonable time and then be wide awake for 2 or 3 hours in the middle of the night, only to fall back asleep and be exhausted in the morning.”  Oh yeah and those dreams that are happening when I am asleep?  Let’s agree that those really aren’t necessary.  (In one recent one I went back to college (communal bathrooms!), caught smallpox, and then my teeth fell out.  I’m pretty sure all that means I’m insane or something.)

Dear Penny:  I think Santa is going to get you a brand-new walking vest for Christmas!  I bet you’re so excited.  (And by “you” I obviously mean “me.”)

Love, Chelsea