Category Archives: Relationships

Personal / Relationships

4-11 (for KC)

December 23, 2015

Eleven years and one day ago I nervously waited for you to show up for a “definitely wasn’t but then it was” first date. As much as I wanted to play it cool and act like I wasn’t really that interested in you, I couldn’t deny this feeling in my gut that pulled me toward you with magnetic force.

Four years ago I walked down the aisle without a sliver of doubt in my mind about you. I just knew you were it for me.

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And now, look what we’ve made together…
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IMG_6368IMG_6876 IMG_6992IMG_6307IMG_6550IMG_7126IMG_7136We’ve transitioned from students, to graduates, to working professionals. From friends, to boyfriend/girlfriend, to fiancee, to husband and wife, to (OMG) parents. We’ve lived in four different residences together now, and called four different cities our home over the past 11 years, and soon enough we will add another to that list. But really, it doesn’t matter so much where we are, because wherever you and Prim are, that’s where I belong.

For all the highs, lows, adventures, triumphs, and trials to come, there’s no one I’d rather have by my side besides you. (And what about all the stuff we’re going to do next year?! I’m so excited, but mostly because I know you’ll be right there next to me for all of it.)

Happy anniversary, Kace. Here’s to four/eleven years, and to four hundred more. I love you so, so much.

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Baby / Personal / Relationships

Relationship, Post-Baby

July 6, 2015

There are a lot of things that change after you have a baby; and no matter what anyone tells you beforehand, there’s really no way to prepare for it. Your relationship, for example, undergoes a huge change.  And people actually do talk about this one — plenty of people told me bits and pieces about how their own relationships had changed after baby. But as much as people told me, I still remember thinking, “I don’t really think that’s going to be our relationship.”

Your relationship after a baby is sort of weird. Having a baby is like the ultimate stressor on your marriage. It’s like the world is throwing everything it’s got at you and you have to work really hard just to stay afloat, and everything above the water is like the best ever, but everything below the water is really difficult. It’s the strangest combination of really high highs and super low lows.

So here’s what happened after we had a baby (that I was kind of but not really at all prepared for):

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Holidays / Relationships

Valentine's Day Gift Ideas (for your lady)

February 3, 2015

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Valentine’s day is one of those holidays that people seem to love to hate.  I have never really seen the reason for hating it (even if you’re single, what about another awesome excuse to eat chocolate and celebrate yourself?), so I’m actually quite looking forward to Saturday the 14th.

Given that I’m pregnant, I think KC’s standard gift (champagne and flowers) may not work so well this year, so I’ve come up with a few suggestions below, most of which I think would be awesome to receive — pregnant or not.

  1. A massage.  It may be due to the 9-pound bowling ball currently residing in my belly, but a massage sounds pretty amazing.
  2. A mani/pedi.  I looove getting my nails done — it makes me feel put-together and polished.  And since I can baaarely reach my toes comfortably these days, I think this would be a really nice gift.
  3. Comfortable, good-looking sleepwear.  Yes, I realize that V-day is kind of the high-holiday for skimpy, impractical lingerie, but once you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, you come to realize how little use you get out of those lacy numbers.  There are a lot of sleepwear options available now that straddle the line between looking sexy and being comfortable enough to actually wear on a regular basis.  Some of my favorites are: these undies, this lace bra, a pretty nightgown, and a soft robe.
  4. Something frivolous.  Pretty much every woman I know has some item that she loves to splurge on — designer shoes, fancy hair products, etc.  I personally love a good statement lipstick and designer candles.
  5. Plans!  Yep, you read that right — plans.  I think there’s nothing sexier than when a man takes the reigns and plans something for just the two of you — no input needed.  Even if it’s just dinner reservations or tickets to the latest chick-flick, having your man go out and plan the whole evening?  Be still my heart.

*And in the event that you are carrying a tiny person in your belly like I am, it’s always nice to think about getting the wee bairn a sweet little gift as well.  (hint hint, Kace!)

Personal / Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

February 2, 2015

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Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages?  I always thought there were just two types of love — romantic love that you feel for your partner, and general platonic love that you feel for family and close friends.  According to relationship counselor Gary Chapman, there are actually five ways we give and/or receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

I read the book the 5 Love Languages a few years ago and found the whole concept pretty fascinating — how we show our love to others is most often based on how we prefer to receive love.  Chapman notes that we need to pay attention to how our partner prefers to receive love, and work to show our love in those ways.  I could definitely see that there were a couple places in mine and KC’s relationship where we weren’t connecting in the ways we showed love for each other, so we took the test to find out how our love languages ranked.

Not surprisingly, quality time was high on both our lists (#1 for me, tied for second for KC).  We have always enjoyed spending time together and make it a priority to carve out time for just the two of us.  The similarities, however, kind of ended there.  Physical touch was #1 on KC’s list, and giving/receiving gifts was tied for second.  I, on the other hand, preferred words of affirmation (second on my list) followed closely by acts of service.  Seeing the results for each of us made a lot of things fall into place.  I tend to busy myself with acts of service around the house — doing the dishes, taking out the trash, doing KC’s laundry — thinking that KC will feel endless gratitude for my efforts.  KC appreciates these things, but acts of service is dead last on his list, so the fact that he doesn’t express tons of appreciation for these menial tasks makes a lot more sense now.

And on KC’s side, he’s incredibly thoughtful when it comes to giving gifts.  He gives the kinds of gifts that girls brag about in movies (he once bought me the most perfect black dress — it’s been 5 years and I still wear it, y’know, when I’m not pregnant).  And while I definitely love receiving gifts, it’s last on my list of love languages.  And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no champion gift-giver.  While I do consider myself to be a pretty thoughtful person, the idea of picking up random trinkets or spending a ton of money on a blow-your-mind present just isn’t something that really appeals to me on a regular basis.

Realizing these differences has been really helpful in our relationship.  KC knows that while I love a thoughtful gift that he picked out, I really love it when he takes the initiative to clean up around the house.  (In fact, for most holidays I just ask him to get me card with a handwritten message in it.) And I realize that my cleaning sprees, while appreciated, just don’t have the same effect on KC that they would have on me, were our roles reversed.  (And I have been making an extra-effort to be a little more thoughtful in my gift-giving.  While I totally nailed it for his birthday last year, it’s a work in progress.)