Category Archives: Personal

Baby / Motherhood / Personal / Pregnancy / Sky

Party of Five

November 4, 2019

Meet our newest bundle, Sky Casey Deatsch! Sky arrived on October 23rd at 1:15am, 12 days ahead of schedule. 

If you’d like to know how it all went down, please read on! I should note that this was not my favorite birth experience (thanks America!) and much like my other birth stories — it’s nice and long.Given that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes this pregnancy, I already knew that I wouldn’t be allowed to go past my due date (which was today — happy due date, Sky!) My doctor had already scheduled an induction for my due date, in the event that this little peanut hadn’t arrived by then.

Given that both Prim and Lark were early (and I’d been having lots of contractions and pre-labor starting at 36 weeks this time around), I was fairly certain that I wouldn’t make it to my due date. I was hoping to go into labor naturally and had already discussed doing a sweep at 39 weeks if I hadn’t already delivered, as I had had this done with Lark after a lot of pre-labor and ended up delivering less than 24 hours afterward.

However, just like all good birth plans, mine flew out the window when I went in for my 38 week appointment on October 22nd.

My appointment was at 2:15pm on the 22nd, and I had spent that whole morning sleeping. Our nanny was watching the girls that day and I had no plans until the afternoon, so I opted to catch up on some much needed rest (the end of pregnancy is super exhausting!) I basically rolled out of bed, threw on some clothes and had a super quick lunch before heading out the door with my mom, as we had plans to go look at kitchen appliances after my appointment (our fridge had been acting up).

We parked at the doctor’s office only to find a voicemail on my phone telling me that the midwife I was scheduled to see was at the hospital for a delivery and so would need to reschedule my appointment. I tried calling the office but no one answered due to it being their lunch hour still, so I opted to just head up to the office to reschedule in person.

Some background before I dive into all this: I had been thinking about delaying my Tuesday appointment to Friday all week, as I reasoned I could opt for a sweep then (closer to 39 weeks), but ultimately decided to just wait the additional few days and get the sweep on Monday, the 28th, when I officially hit 39 weeks. I was trying to make it to 39 weeks with this kiddo while simultaneously avoiding giving birth on Halloween, as I wanted to be around for the girls that day. 

If I could do any of this over, I would have just left the parking lot and left a message with the doctor to reschedule for Friday, but y’know, at this point I had zero idea what was to come.

I headed upstairs to the office and was informed that they would fit me in with one of the nurses. I almost forgot to leave a urine sample and so rushed into the restroom to deal with that and then was immediately whisked into a room when I walked out, where the assistant took my blood pressure.

She noted that my blood pressure was elevated — 142/80. Up to this point it had been higher than normal, but never above 130/85 (140/90 and above are where it gets to be an issue), and I had been monitoring it at home due to my history of preeclampsia with Prim. I should have asked to be re-measured after being allowed to sit quietly for a bit, since I was rushed into the room and immediately measured, but I didn’t.

The nurse came in to check me and informed me that protein had been detected in my urine and because I had a high blood pressure reading I needed to head to labor and delivery at the hospital for further tests and monitoring, as these things together indicate preeclampsia. I stupidly assumed that because my blood pressure readings had been fine at home that they would run some tests and likely send me home — surely they wouldn’t induce me based on a single blood pressure reading that wasn’t even above the 140/90 threshold.

At the hospital I was hooked up to fetal monitors, fitted with a blood pressure cuff, and my blood was drawn. My blood pressure was measured every 15 minutes, and due to white coat syndrome and all the activity (nurses coming in and out and telling me repeatedly that I would probably have to stay and be induced), my blood pressure readings were high. (The best example of this was when a nurse came in and told me that even though the baby was doing fine on the monitor and my bloodwork had come back completely normal, my midwife was still recommending induction. Like clockwork, the stupid blood pressure cuff went off right after I heard this and registered 150/85. COOL.) I was eventually able to get my blood pressure down to 125/80 as I waited for my midwife to come talk to me, and so remained hopeful that I would be allowed to go home and self-monitor.

My midwife finally showed up around 6pm (roughly 4 hours after I arrived at L&D) and informed me that even though my bloodwork was fine and baby was responding as expected on the monitor, she was recommending immediate induction. I had already communicated that I wanted to avoid induction at multiple appointments prior to this, and tried to explain that this felt extreme given that this was being based on a few high blood pressure readings and a single urine test (I also explained that I was sure I was super dehydrated as I had slept literally all morning and so had had zero water since the night before.)

I asked to delay induction in favor of doing a 24 hour urine collection (a more accurate measure for protein levels/preeclampsia diagnosis) and self-monitoring at home. This seemed reasonable to me, as I had been monitoring my blood pressure on my own anyway and had even managed to get my blood pressure down to a reasonable level on the monitors at the hospital, but my midwife informed me that my only option outside of induction was to stay at the hospital and do the 24 hour urine collection while remaining there on the monitors. I felt trapped, as the monitors were extremely uncomfortable, and I knew that staying in the hospital would just bank more high readings due to my stress level and discomfort, giving the doctors more ammo for their induction decision. I pleaded with the midwife to let me go home. I said that I could do the urine collection at home and routinely take my blood pressure and could call if I got a reading of 140/90 or above. I asked for a sweep to see if that might kick things off and I could go into labor naturally and said I would agree to induction if the 24 hour test showed a need for it, but this way I could at least get my stuff together, see my kids, and get into a better headspace for something that was very much not in my birth plan.

But the answer was no. 

The midwife then called in the perinatologist for an ultrasound, who noted that the baby’s growth had slowed and my amniotic fluid was on the low side of normal. I wish I had known at the time that both of these things are normal at the end of pregnancy and that dehydration can affect amniotic fluid levels, but I didn’t. The perinatologist agreed that I should be induced and so all other options were taken off the table. I was told that if I stayed at the hospital I would be induced and if I wanted to leave I would need to sign an AMA.

So I “agreed” to the induction. (I’m not really sure how else to put that, as it very much felt like I had no other choice.)

I was upset, not so much because this was not the plan, but because I felt like the midwife and doctors were not listening to me at all. They kept telling me that this decision was based on the “whole picture,” but to me it felt like it was being based on a couple of possibly inaccurate tests and no one was even willing to delay things for a day or two to see what additional tests would say.

KC and I made overnight arrangements for the girls and KC went home to grab my bag. I was brought into a birthing suite where they broke my water and started me on pitocin sometime between 9:30 and 10pm. (So much for a “gentle” induction — they came in every 30 minutes to turn the level on my pitocin drip up.)

I tried to rest while things were still bearable, but the contractions picked up and very quickly were coming hard and fast. Sometime around 12:45am I told one of the nurses that it felt like the baby was getting low and I felt like I was fairly far along. At this point the contractions were so intense I could barely breathe through them. I was trying to relax, but they were so painful I could feel myself tense up with each wave and I was shaking due to being in so much pain. I asked to be checked because I kept telling the nurses that it felt like I needed to pee (they kept telling me to tell them if it felt like I needed to use the bathroom y’know *not pee* but I kept telling them it didn’t feel like that, I just felt like I had to pee). I finally got checked around 1am or maybe just before, and the midwife told me I was 5cm. I was a little surprised, as I felt like I was at least approaching transition, but took her word for it and told KC shortly after that I wanted an epidural. I figured if I was only 5cm I would probably be laboring at least another 2-3 hours (as I had been 2-3cm dilated when the induction was started, and so had only progressed a couple cm in a matter of about 3 hours). At this point the contractions were extremely painful and pretty much unmanageable and I felt I couldn’t go on like this for hours and hours. I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to eat once I had the epidural and I was STARVING, so I asked for food first. I had some juice and Jell-o and crackers and then asked for the epidural.

The anesthesiologist took what felt like forever to get into the room and get set up (in reality, I think it was 5-10 minutes). At this point the contractions were coming every minute or so and I could barely speak in between. I sat on the edge of the bed while the anesthesiologist set up behind me and sterilized my back. He kept having to stop while I would have a contraction, as I would shake uncontrollably from the pain. He stuck a big sheet of plastic to my back and was about to numb me before placing the epidural when I had another contraction. Mid-contraction I felt like I was going to pee the bed, then quickly realized nope — this baby was coming NOW. I screamed “I NEED TO PUSH!” and basically — shit got REAL.

The nurse yelled at the anesthesiologist to move his stuff because I needed to lay down. She pushed me onto the bed, hit the red button on the wall (which I assume is the “OH SHIT” button that calls for backup) and I felt the baby crown and then birthed his head in one push. There was a break at this point where I came-to for a moment — KC was holding my hand and leaning right over my face, telling me to breathe (thank god I had told him before I gave birth that if I was pushing without drugs I needed him to be right in my face telling me to breathe. The midwife in Amsterdam had done this when I had Lark, and it was SO helpful to have someone to focus on during pushing, as pushing without drugs is so intense and scary.) I heard the nurse telling someone else “I’m holding his head” — she didn’t have time to get gloves on and was holding him with the hem of my hospital gown. She was yelling at me to grab my legs, which I finally was able to comprehend and did, right before I did one final push and out he came. 

Sky was lifted onto my chest and I opened my eyes to see a mass of people rushing into the room — my usual nurse who had been on break, my midwife, a few support nurses and the pediatrician. I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, as it had all happened so quickly. Somehow I had managed to dilate from 5-10cm in a matter of 15-20 minutes and then pushed twice and had a baby. I looked at the nurse who I remembered had been in the room when I was supposed to be getting the epidural and asked if she delivered the baby, “Yeah — with her,” (pointing to another nurse), she said.  “She caught him because I didn’t even get gloves on.” Sky was born at 1:15am, less than 4 hours after my induction started. He was 6lbs and 1.4oz (a peanut, just like his sisters) and 19.5 inches long. I literally have no pictures of Sky and I doing skin-to-skin immediately after his delivery because I think we were all in such shock from his swift arrival. KC didn’t have the time or wherewithal to get the camera or even his phone out in the minutes before or after Sky’s birth, and I just remember holding him and shaking while everyone rushed in the room and congratulated us. While I still feel frustrated by how everything came to pass leading up to Sky’s arrival, I’m glad that we’re all healthy and no worse for wear. (Poor Sky had some facial bruising due to his quick delivery, but I was rewarded with zero stitches after the fact — praise be.) It was a whirlwind for sure, but he’s here and healthy and very much loved by his mama, daddy and big sisters. Welcome to our family, Sky. We’re so happy you’re here!

Baby / Personal / Pregnancy

Pregnancy Update — May

May 5, 2019

I am sloooowly getting out of the phase of all-the-time nausea/barfing. I’m still not feeling great and certainly not feeling like myself just yet, but the end is at least in sight and I have moments where I don’t want to just lay down and die, so it’s improving!

weeks: 14

baby’s size: orange

i’m feeling: mostly tired and barfy still, though this pregnancy hasn’t been nearly as bad as Lark’s was on the nausea front. I haven’t had to be on medication or hospitalized, so it feels infinitely more manageable — just crappy.

food love: pickles, sandwiches, and strawberries. Sometimes all together for lunch!

food hate: my food aversions have been a lot less pronounced this pregnancy. I’ve been able to eat meat (and sometimes even crave it!) which is a wholesale departure from my pregnancies with Prim and Lark where I couldn’t even THINK about anything other than white carbs in the first trimester.

3 pros for may: 1. The weather has been so nice lately — warm but not too hot, and it’s getting me really excited for all the summer barbecuing. 2. Prim’s birthday is this week — I can’t believe that this girl is going to be FOUR! Seems like just yesterday I was 14 weeks pregnant with her and thinking I looked SO pregnant (hahaha! Yeah right!) 3. I just took a girls trip to Palm Springs with some of my best mama friends — my first trip away from KC and the girls together — having the time away to relax and reconnect was amazing!

3 cons for may: 1. My nausea isn’t gone yet, nor is the crazy exhaustion of the first trimester, so I’m still not really feeling that great most days. Looking forward to hopefully feeling a little more normal in a few weeks. 2. The US medical system is proving to be a lot more annoying than the Netherlands one (shocker.) I constantly feel like I’m just a chart or another statistic at all these appointments, and fighting to have a “natural” pregnancy seems like it shouldn’t be this much work. 3. Sometimes I think about how much longer to go in this pregnancy and get really overwhelmed. Having been through this before somehow makes things both easier and harder because you kind of know what to expect.

currently living in: maternity dresses — so comfy and breathable. I mean, if I can pretty much avoid wearing pants altogether for the next 6 months I’ll call that a win.

looking forward to: the second trimester and a bit more energy.

dreaming about: naps and more naps.

Announcements / Baby / Motherhood / Personal

Party of Five

May 1, 2019

If you follow me on social media or know me in real life, then you probably already know that I’m pregnant. Sorry, I guess that should say, I’m pregnant! Exclamation point!

And yes, we’re very excited (especially Prim). But also I’m very tired and just starting to emerge from the all-the-time barf-fest that is the first trimester (and beyond…) so summoning up the appropriate amount of hutzpah is sometimes a little challenging. But we’re excited! It’s happening!

The realness of the first trimester (i.e. wanting to fall down and die of tiredness and debilitating nausea most of the time) is the reason that my “announcement” photo is so far beyond planned, staged, or anything remotely professional. I mean, I’m wearing zero makeup, the room is a mess, the mirror is dirty… I guess the reality is I’m just not that committed to being that sort of “blogger” or “instagrammer” or whatever. That’s my real life right there — a phone selfie in a dirty mirror because “I guess I should just tell people since it’s so damn hard to hide this bump now.”

I mean, the third baby thing — wow. I started showing basically immediately (let’s sing a song about self esteem! And also a requiem for my ab muscles.) and I feel like I look about twice (or 14) times as pregnant as I actually am. (Sidenote: this mostly works in my favor on BART, where I give zero Fs about asking for a seat since I’ve been down this road twice before already.) Ah, the miracle of pregnancy, right? I’m sure I won’t be AT ALL tired of maternity clothes by the third trimester since I’ve been wearing the stuff pretty much since week six (facepalm).

This is all to say though, that really, we’re excited. I’m 99% sure this will be our last kiddo (I really don’t think I can go through a first trimester again), so it’s been a little bit easier to weather the hard parts knowing that this is most likely the last time I’ll be dealing with this. And honestly, the girls’ enthusiasm over having a sibling really makes the tough parts so much more enjoyable. Prim has been running around telling EVERYONE that she’s getting a new baby sister/brother (we already know!) and constantly running up to my belly to talk to and give kiss/hugs to the baby, so really, just give me a couple more weeks and I’ll probably be on board to have like 15 more kids. Ha!

Life Abroad / Personal

We’re back!

July 1, 2018

Hey hey!

our last family photo inside our Amsterdam apartment

Last time I posted on here it was a week before we moved out of Amsterdam. We departed on May 31 and traveled for two weeks before heading back to the US and diving right into moving into our new house. So, needless to say, it’s been a busy month.

KC and I celebrated our two years abroad on our flight out of Amsterdam with a bottle of way too expensive champagne, which was served with ice because it wasn’t cold (Europe, you guys). Our last week in Amsterdam was full of organizing, packing, goodbyes, and (understandably) all the feelings. Leaving behind our apartment and the city we love so much was so bittersweet, especially because it was the only home that Prim and Lark had ever known. (We did live in the Bay Area until Prim was one, but she doesn’t remember that.)

Moving has been both exciting and stressful, and the girls have adapted very well to their new surroundings, but it’s still a bit heartbreaking to hear Prim ask, “When we going home?” (meaning Amsterdam) and having her tell me “I miss my Amsterdam” when I’m putting her to bed.We’re anxiously awaiting the arrival of our things from the Netherlands, which I think will help the girls feel a bit more at home here since it contains 99% of their toys and books. In the meantime, we’re enjoying spending time with our families and trying to have some low-key time at home with just the four of us as well. I’ve finally organized our photos from our two weeks of travel, so posts on Vienna, Prague and Athens will be forthcoming — stay tuned!

Life Abroad / Personal / Travel

A Travel Mishap

May 4, 2018

I’ve posted before about some of the low points of our travels (both Prim and Lark have puked on a plane now, and sometimes when you’re traveling you just straight lose your patience), but our Bordeaux trip started with a complication of a different kind.

Traveling to Bordeaux we did something we very rarely do — we flew in the evening. Our flight was at 6:30pm and landed around 8pm, which is after the girls’ usual bedtime. Usually we opt to pay a little more to fly in the morning or midday so the girls won’t be overtired while on the plane, but this flight was significantly more affordable than other flights at more convenient times so I decided to chance it.  Even though the timing wasn’t ideal, I assumed we would power through the flight, get our luggage, catch a cab, and get the girls into bed immediately upon arriving at the house.

Everything went relatively smoothly on the flight and we made it through passport control in record time. We arrived at our home exchange house at 8:45pm and went and knocked on the door of the neighbor who supposedly was holding the keys for us. I had texted the neighbor on our way from the airport to let the him know that we were on our way, and prior to that we had received a text from the family we were exchanging with saying that the neighbor was waiting for us with the keys.

But then, there was no answer.

And no answer.

And no answer.

We knocked, we texted, we called — nothing. We attempted to contact the family we were exchanging with, but by unfortunate coincidence their flight had taken off from the airport just as we had arrived at their house, meaning they were out of contact until 10:15pm, at least.

We waited and waited and waited, and after an hour we finally just picked up our luggage and our very tired children and headed to the closest place that was open — McDonald’s. Lark fell asleep in the carrier, Prim watched videos on KC’s phone in a tired daze, and I stress ate french fries while we waited for the family’s plane to land.

Finally at 10:30pm, we simultaneously heard from the family and the neighbor with the keys. Apparently we had been given the wrong address — the one for the neighbor on the right side rather than the left — and for some reason the neighbor hadn’t checked his phone in almost two hours. It was all very inconvenient (and led to a very fun bedtime meltdown by one Lark Adelaide), but we survived.

So yes, while it would be fun to just post pretty pictures of all the amazing parts of our European adventures, it’s not the whole truth. Sometimes these things happen — planes get delayed, luggage gets lost, and miscommunications add up to one big headache. We made it through that (very annoying) first night relatively unscathed, and luckily the rest of our trip was amazing. But make no mistake — despite how it all might look on here or on Instagram, it’s not all easy.