Dear January: You’re almost over! Thank God.
Dear Oysters and Champagne: I’m coming for both of you tonight! Yum.
Dear KC: Daaaaate niiiiiiight yaaaayyyyy!
Dear Government-Held Student Loans; What about how we finally paid you off? And every time I wonder why I have no money — now I know the answer.
Dear Lady tweezing her mustache on BART: Yeah, ok… You do you.
Dear Penny: You need a bath. So stinky.
Dear Superbowl: I don’t care.
Dear Week: Are you over yet? This feels like forever.
Dear Prim’s Tooth: Speed it up a little. Thanks.