Let’s talk about how I can’t spell the word “caramelized.”  I only want to spell it “carmelized.”  Unfortunately, “carmelized” is apparently a. not a real word, and b. if it was a real word, would mean “in the way of Carmel.”  Or so I assume.

I guess it’s because I say “car-mel” instead of “cara-mel,” so my brain is like: “Carmel.  Carmelized.”  (It also thinks that maintenance should be spelled “maintainance.”)

How’s that for a crazy intro to this recipe?  I should write a whole book about it, probably.  Things How I Think They Should Be Spelled, by Chelsea.  #1 on the NY Times bestseller list for sure.

This recipe was adapted from an old Giada recipe — she did something similar with bite-size mini pizzas back in, like, 2006.  I saw the episode where she made those and thought the idea of onions + prosciutto + goat cheese sounded delicious, but the idea of stretching 1,000 two-bite-sized pizzas sounded sort of insane.  So, y’know, I just made it into a full-size pizza.

Also, she caramelized her onions for like an hour.  I did mine for about 15 minutes.  (Because I am kind of really against spending more than about 45 minutes on dinner.  It’s just that I’m really busy and important, y’know?)

Anyway, here’s what you need to know about this pizza: it’s easy to make and people freak out over it.  It’s delicious.  Also, it’s not gluten-free, dairy-free, or vegetarian; and really, it would be difficult to make it any of those things.  Unless you have a good recipe for gluten-free pizza dough.

Just for the record, I’m not diet-restricted in any way, it just happens that a lot of the stuff I make is either g-free, d-free and/or veg/vegan (or easily made that way).  It’s mostly because I refuse to spend a lot of money on meat (and refuse to eat cheap meat.  Ew.)  I like to save my $ for important things.  Like the cheese section at Whole Foods.  Or BevMo.

Caramelized Onion Pizza with Goat Cheese and Prosciutto

• 1 lb pizza dough (from your favorite pizzeria, or homemade)
• olive oil
• parmesan cheese
• onions (2-3 large yellow or sweet onions), sliced
• 1 tbsp herbs de provence
• 1 tsp sugar
• salt + pepper
• goat cheese (about 3 oz), crumbled
• prosciutto (3-4 slices), chopped

1. Preheat oven to 475°.
2. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat.  Add onions to heated pan, along with herbs de provence, sugar, salt and pepper.  Cook onions slowly, turning occasionally, until very soft and brown, 15-20 minutes.
3. While onions are cooking, turn out pizza dough onto a lightly floured board, turning to coat.  Stretch dough to desired thickness*, and place on greased baking sheet.  Brush dough with olive oil and sprinkle with parmesan cheese.  Bake 10-14 minutes, until dough is just browned and crisp.
4. Spread onions on top of dough in an even layer.  Top with chopped prosciutto and crumbled goat cheese.  Bake another 8-10 minutes, until prosciutto is slightly crispy and cheese is just beginning to brown.

*While I love a thin-crust pizza, you want to make sure that your dough isn’t too thin for this recipe when you stretch it.  The onions bring a lot of moisture with them, so if the dough is very thin, it can get soggy and fall apart when you try to eat it.

The measurements listed above are all approximations — so feel free to just eyeball it (and save yourself a few dishes)!